And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
