No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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