I accidentally burped into my bong.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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