The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
