I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What a dumb baby whore.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
