The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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