I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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