He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
