i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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