Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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