i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
