She is in my trunk
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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