BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
