do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
