WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
