have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
