I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
