Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this will be a night to untag.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
