those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
