the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Holy shit dude........stairs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
