How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
