One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize