yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
