He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
