so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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