I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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