I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize