Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
