I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
