How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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