new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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