So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
