i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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