That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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