she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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