i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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