Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
