She said her name was "party"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize