I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
babies were throwing up all over the place
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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