i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
