Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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