Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
