Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
