you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
