Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
