She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
