ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
