census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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