worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
