chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
