Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
