god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
