Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This baby is an asshole
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize