I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize