Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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