those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
