i don't like sucking hair
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize